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Tonight I gave a lecture to an area youth orchestra entitled “The Art of Auditioning”. I carried on with a lot of, what I consider to be, useful information outlining many of the most important aspects of my approach to auditions. When I was done, I opened the floor up for questions. A nice looking young boy who is probably only 12 or 13 years old sheepishly raised his hand and asked, “Have you ever thought about doing anything else for a living?” Zing! It wasn’t how he meant it, but when viewed in the right (or wrong) light, I found it freakin’ hilarious.
It reminded me of one night in San Francisco after a concert, several of us got to joking about things people had said that felt like veiled insults. Some of my favorites were:
“Tonight’s concert. I mean… wow.”
“I was out in the hall tonight. You should have been there!”
“You played that almost as beautifully as I imagined it.”
“Man, you are somethin’ else.”
“You know, I’ve never heard anything like that!”
“Wow, that piece sounded hard!”
Call me a masochist, but I actually really enjoy these and I’m sure I’m not alone. If you have any zingers you’d like to share, please add them in the comments.
After your trumpet recital you may hear this as your first compliment:
“Wow, that pianist was great!!”
This is excerpted from an otherwise complimentary email that our orchestra conductor received and forwarded to me (the group was One World Symphony, where I’ve been principal trumpet lately, including at the concert in question):
“Thank you so much for the invitation to the wonderful performance…last night… if you need another trumpeter for your next concert I would be happy to play.”
It turned out ok; the guy who sent it was a friend of mine who really did like the way we played, but was also fishing for a gig opportunity! He’s now in the section with me.
I love both of those. Thanks for the comments! Anyone else?
“A master’s in music? What are you going to do with that?”
After performing the Jolivet Concertino on my senior undergrad recital, one of my closest friends asked “Did you pick that piece out yourself?”
“Well, it sounded great to me; ‘course I don’t know much about music”
Roy
From my very first ever mention in a newspaper review, after my first concert as Principal trumpet with the Flint Symphony:
“The brass section sounded superfluous, in spite of new Principal Trumpeter Mark Flegg…”
Hilarious! “Yes, I love the Trumpet! But can You play the Beatles on the Zither? – That is what we are really looking for now. Or Jazz, but Tambourine-style, You know?”